"i can stop anytime"
that was five years ago
"I’m not hurting anyone"
that was two funerals ago
"i can handle it"
here, let me tie your shoes
"i've been doing this for as long as i can remember"
do you remember yesterday
"i don’t have a problem"
what do you have
"it makes me feel good"
and then
"all my friends are doing it"
where are they now
"you aren't my mother or father"
you missed their funeral
"who died and made you boss"
too many
"you aren't better than me"
i know, do you
"just leave me alone"
you already are
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Mary
Mary stood on that slim barrier of stonework and looked at the street below. It was early evening, but that didn't stop the busy flow of people coming in and going out of the courthouse. She came up to the roof to clear her head and wipe the tears away. The wind ruffled her simple dress and whipped through her long auburn hair. Her eyes still puffy and red as she squinted against the rush of cool autumn air. Mary looked out over the setting, at the first stars peeking through the twilight and a hazy moon battling to outshine the last vestiges of sunlight.
For twelve years Mary had Sara alone. When Jim found out she was pregnant, Sara's father took off. All he could say for himself was how young he was and how he couldn't be stuck with a kid now. Mary had called the cab herself, if he didn't want them so be it. After Sara was born, Mary took whatever jobs would pay the bills. So for twelve years she had worked two and three jobs at a time, and would go home to a daughter that never stopped smiling and was always eager to cheer her mother on. One month ago that all changed.
Mary and Sara were playing chess when the door bell rang. There stood Jim, in all his miserable weasel glory, wearing an expensive suit and carrying a box under one arm. Twelve years and not so much as a word from him and then he just shows up. Mary felt a well of anger she didn't know she had as she dropped him with a wicked right hook. It wasn't until after he hit the hall carpeting that she noticed the other suit standing outside her door. Jim started to whimper as he rubbed his chin. Mary felt a twinge of pity and ushered the two inside.
She didn't bother with pleasantries; the two wouldn't be staying long. Turned out the suit was a lawyer, an expensive one. Jim had made some money on the stock market, found a pretty blonde to marry and decided he wanted to play daddy now. The box Jim had was a doll for Sara, a peace offering, for neglecting her for twelve years. Mary showed them the door amidst promises of long days in court.
It didn't take long for the suit and the moron to make good on their word. Mary had spent most of the last week in court, Jim was winning but he and his suit had to fight and claw for every inch they gained against her. Before getting pregnant Mary was accepted to law school, a fact she never shared with Jim before he skipped out. With the help of a very smart, very supportive little girl Mary was ready to start classes in a few months. It wasn't enough though.
The suit was good, or bad, a lawyer doing what’s best for his client walks a fuzzy line. He kept hammering away at Mary's life, taking any opportunity to show her as an unfit mother. It always came back to money, rather her lack of it. Like money was all there was to life. With very little of it Mary had managed to raise a healthy, happy, intelligent little girl. What about the future they kept asking. Teenage girls have lots of needs, and what about college, how could she afford to send Sara. They treated her like dirt throughout those days, she was starting to get a little nagging thought in the back of her head. Maybe they were right. That’s when the tears started, what if they were right? What if she wasn't as good a mom as she thought? What if Sara would be better off with Jim?
Court was in recess and Mary went up to the roof. She didn't plan on jumping, yet she found herself on top of a short wall a mere six inches between her and oblivion. She looked out over the darkening city, lights blinking on against the approaching night. Twelve years, she thought. For twelve years her first thought was always about Sara. She looked down at the street again and frowned. Mary turned and hopped back down to the roof. "I'm her mother damn it," she said heading for the stairs, "I will not lose to that bastard."
For twelve years Mary had Sara alone. When Jim found out she was pregnant, Sara's father took off. All he could say for himself was how young he was and how he couldn't be stuck with a kid now. Mary had called the cab herself, if he didn't want them so be it. After Sara was born, Mary took whatever jobs would pay the bills. So for twelve years she had worked two and three jobs at a time, and would go home to a daughter that never stopped smiling and was always eager to cheer her mother on. One month ago that all changed.
Mary and Sara were playing chess when the door bell rang. There stood Jim, in all his miserable weasel glory, wearing an expensive suit and carrying a box under one arm. Twelve years and not so much as a word from him and then he just shows up. Mary felt a well of anger she didn't know she had as she dropped him with a wicked right hook. It wasn't until after he hit the hall carpeting that she noticed the other suit standing outside her door. Jim started to whimper as he rubbed his chin. Mary felt a twinge of pity and ushered the two inside.
She didn't bother with pleasantries; the two wouldn't be staying long. Turned out the suit was a lawyer, an expensive one. Jim had made some money on the stock market, found a pretty blonde to marry and decided he wanted to play daddy now. The box Jim had was a doll for Sara, a peace offering, for neglecting her for twelve years. Mary showed them the door amidst promises of long days in court.
It didn't take long for the suit and the moron to make good on their word. Mary had spent most of the last week in court, Jim was winning but he and his suit had to fight and claw for every inch they gained against her. Before getting pregnant Mary was accepted to law school, a fact she never shared with Jim before he skipped out. With the help of a very smart, very supportive little girl Mary was ready to start classes in a few months. It wasn't enough though.
The suit was good, or bad, a lawyer doing what’s best for his client walks a fuzzy line. He kept hammering away at Mary's life, taking any opportunity to show her as an unfit mother. It always came back to money, rather her lack of it. Like money was all there was to life. With very little of it Mary had managed to raise a healthy, happy, intelligent little girl. What about the future they kept asking. Teenage girls have lots of needs, and what about college, how could she afford to send Sara. They treated her like dirt throughout those days, she was starting to get a little nagging thought in the back of her head. Maybe they were right. That’s when the tears started, what if they were right? What if she wasn't as good a mom as she thought? What if Sara would be better off with Jim?
Court was in recess and Mary went up to the roof. She didn't plan on jumping, yet she found herself on top of a short wall a mere six inches between her and oblivion. She looked out over the darkening city, lights blinking on against the approaching night. Twelve years, she thought. For twelve years her first thought was always about Sara. She looked down at the street again and frowned. Mary turned and hopped back down to the roof. "I'm her mother damn it," she said heading for the stairs, "I will not lose to that bastard."
Musings on the Distant Future
100,000 years from now the various catastrophes that humanity had feared never manifested. Some slight changes in weather occurred, but humanity managed to come to its collective senses in time to muster the full might of their science in or to avoid its own destruction. Science saved the world and the scientists were seen as the saviors to liberate humanity from the greed, corruption and violence which had so far plagued its existence and so the scientists were seen as infallible and given a free reign to do as they saw fit. Unfortunately mans science always outpaces his conscious.
Humanity soon saw two major rifts formed in the fabric of society; that between the industrialized nations and the underdeveloped world and then between the two main schools of thought within the industrial peoples. The first rift was caused because most of the scientific and technical knowledge rests in the industrial world and they see science and technology as the solution to all of the worlds problems. Among these people two prevailing schools of thought manifested. On the one hand you have those who believe that technology is the one true path to a utopian existence and began to call themselves the Technocrats. On the other hand you have those who believe that the path to perfection lies with genetic modification and began to call themselves the Perfectionaries.
Technocrats began to delegate more and more of their daily lives to the machinery around them as they focused on developing their craft. They designed and built, redesigned and rebuilt until every aspect of their lives was a well regulated machine. It wasn’t long before they realized that the one thing they still didn’t have control over was life itself. So little by little they began to replace life with A-Life. Children were no longer born but were instead made in the image of their forefathers. They had achieved immortality for the price of a soul.
The Perfectionaries used their genetic science to create a race of being with long life and disease resistance. One thing they couldn’t do with their science was splice out the social conflicts that are a part of human diversity. Their solution to this problem was the limiting of that diversity. Reproduction through normal means were outlawed and the entire population sterilized at birth. To ensure perfection, genetic samples were taken from the entire population. If they proves themselves worthy through displays of excellence and adherence to the collective will, a modified clone is produced with memories of the originals knowledge and experience. Those that prove themselves unworthy are terminated and their genetic data is removed from the collective pool. In this way they create a homogenous society, immortality in exchange for obedience at the cost of individuality.
In the underdeveloped countries manpower is the primary means of getting things done. Most of the underdeveloped countries have strong culture beliefs towards the purity of the body and mind. That cultural doctrine coupled with the lack of technical and industrial resources lead to a society were people strive for physical prowess in order to compete with their modified neighbors. The purists are not made like the technocrats and selectively bred like the Perfectionaries and so they find their lives a competition for justification of their existence. Through hard work and dedication they have to make themselves as strong, if not stronger than their modified kin lest they be sucked into their genetic pools or augmenting facilities.
Humanity soon saw two major rifts formed in the fabric of society; that between the industrialized nations and the underdeveloped world and then between the two main schools of thought within the industrial peoples. The first rift was caused because most of the scientific and technical knowledge rests in the industrial world and they see science and technology as the solution to all of the worlds problems. Among these people two prevailing schools of thought manifested. On the one hand you have those who believe that technology is the one true path to a utopian existence and began to call themselves the Technocrats. On the other hand you have those who believe that the path to perfection lies with genetic modification and began to call themselves the Perfectionaries.
Technocrats began to delegate more and more of their daily lives to the machinery around them as they focused on developing their craft. They designed and built, redesigned and rebuilt until every aspect of their lives was a well regulated machine. It wasn’t long before they realized that the one thing they still didn’t have control over was life itself. So little by little they began to replace life with A-Life. Children were no longer born but were instead made in the image of their forefathers. They had achieved immortality for the price of a soul.
The Perfectionaries used their genetic science to create a race of being with long life and disease resistance. One thing they couldn’t do with their science was splice out the social conflicts that are a part of human diversity. Their solution to this problem was the limiting of that diversity. Reproduction through normal means were outlawed and the entire population sterilized at birth. To ensure perfection, genetic samples were taken from the entire population. If they proves themselves worthy through displays of excellence and adherence to the collective will, a modified clone is produced with memories of the originals knowledge and experience. Those that prove themselves unworthy are terminated and their genetic data is removed from the collective pool. In this way they create a homogenous society, immortality in exchange for obedience at the cost of individuality.
In the underdeveloped countries manpower is the primary means of getting things done. Most of the underdeveloped countries have strong culture beliefs towards the purity of the body and mind. That cultural doctrine coupled with the lack of technical and industrial resources lead to a society were people strive for physical prowess in order to compete with their modified neighbors. The purists are not made like the technocrats and selectively bred like the Perfectionaries and so they find their lives a competition for justification of their existence. Through hard work and dedication they have to make themselves as strong, if not stronger than their modified kin lest they be sucked into their genetic pools or augmenting facilities.
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